“It was December 14th, 1996. We were on our way to Florida for winter vacation. I was 6 years old. There was a blizzard that day and my mom lost control after a semi was driving out of his lane. Our suburban rolled over four or five times and she died instantly. I was asleep during the accident so when I woke up I was still strapped into my seatbelt, and the car was sitting upside down in the woods. I remember being so confused and walking to my moms body on the ground, patting her and telling her to wake up. When they told me at the hospital that she had died, that’s when it really hit me. I don’t think kids understand the permanence of death at such a young age. It’s too much to wrap your head around that this person is gone forever. To make matters worse, a month after she died our house burnt down, and we lost all of her stuff. This December marks 20 years since we lost her. Sometimes I wonder how I would’ve turned out if the accident never happened, but I think I am who I am because of it. I think it made me more responsible. I never had anybody waking me up for school in the morning, and taking care of me, and helping me with homework. I did it all. I’m not a drinker. I never did drugs. I never partied. I think I just always knew I needed to look out for myself. I was pessimistic for a very long time, but recently I came to the realization that there’s always going to be things that happen in life, and if you keep waiting to be happy, you’re never going to be happy. So lately, I have been focusing on doing what makes me happy and trying to be more optimistic. I’m purposefully trying to be happy every day. My mom used to tell me to stand in front of the mirror and say, “I love you Zina, and I’m proud of you.” Then after she passed, when I would look into the mirror and say that to myself, it was as if she was the one telling me that she loved me and that she was proud of me. That has helped me get through all of these years without her.”