“The night of July 3rd, 2012 I was out drinking after bar close. Me and some friends went out on their boat. We went out to Long Island, which is right next to Madeline Island. It’s super shallow, really far out. We were just hanging out and being kind of ridiculous at 2 in the morning. I got up to jump in, because I was pretty faded and thought jumping in would help me sober up a bit. In between that time, my friend was like Kelsey, be careful it’s really shallow. And I just had this time warp wasted moment where I totally forgot and I stepped up and dove in off the boat. I hit my head on the bottom and broke my neck in 3 places. I immediately floated up to the top, face down and saw gray. I tried to turn over but I couldn’t move at all. I remember thinking, fuck, I’m going to die. Then all of a sudden I felt pretty calm, and that’s when my friend jumped in and flipped me over. They pulled me into the boat. I remember it was a perfectly still night. The moon was huge. They called 911 and I remember seeing the ambulance lights pulling into the hospital. That whole 2 weeks is pretty fuzzy. I remember a lot of people being there and praying for me. Once the doctor told me I wouldn’t walk again, I fell apart. The first question I asked was can I still have kids? He said yes and hearing that was cool. It was crazy. That was the hardest time of my entire life. I was 27. I’m 31 now. I think what has made this transition so difficult for me is that I’ve always been such a physical person. Before my injury, my best friend and I were planning on starting a burlesque dance company. I was going to do the choreography. I had finally figured out what I wanted to do with my dance degree. I was so excited, but things change and you have to move on. It’s difficult mentally and physically because I’m aware of my limitations and I have to let go of the way things were and try not to compare them. Every day I try to be present and take a deep breath, but I have all of these memories and I can’t let go of comparing things to how awesome they were before. Being present is so fucking hard. It’s a constant battle and I’m constantly striving for being here right now and fighting for what I want in the future, which is to get the fuck out of this chair. I want my body back. I randomly think about that night, and think, what if I just didn’t dive in? What if I just took a step back and said Kelsey, you know where you are. It’s so crazy. One moment. One stupid moment and who knows how different my life would be. But I can’t think that way. It’s so destructive. This is not helping me feel better. This is making me feel way worse. You just never know.”